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Forgiveness probably is sometimes, maybe often, a process rather than merely an event or a decision, but it should nevertheless be a decision, and not merely the natural muting of rancor that often occurs with the passage of time. Godly forgiveness is an act of will, a choice not to hold a grudge or covet retribution. It cannot be predicated upon an apology or a request for forgiveness, but must be based instead on confidence in God coupled with love for God and neighbor. The character godliness of the one forgiving, not the one forgiven, is paramount. Forgetting, in the sense of "forgive and forget" surely is in the same vein as Joseph's description of his experience in Genesis 41:51, "Joseph named his firstborn Manasseh and said, 'It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my father's household.'" (NIV) Clearly Joseph had not forgotten the things he mentioned in terms of having no memory of them, but he had forgotten in the sense that other things (good things) occupied his mind and he didn't dwell on them. In that way, we need to forget "trespasses" or else the decision to forgive cannot succeed. We cannot dwell on the errors, failings or sins of others and truly forgive them. Joseph didn't have to live in regret of the things his brothers had done or the things he had lost, because he saw that God had given him good things, a new beginning, and so "made me forget." Forgetting is a matter of where we place our emphasis in what we choose to think about. Isa 43:18 "Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. (NIV)
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